Finally Home

In more ways than one, I am finally home. Home in the literal sense as I am FINALLY back in the beautifully green state of Washington so close to my family. As well as home in the...well... the other sense. Home is where the heart is, right? So, I am home. I am with my husband (my heart), my loving baby boy (aka Jake... my heart), my family and dear friends (hearts as well), and within the reach of actively pursuing my dreams. Oh my, did I forget to mention the reason for the picture I posted? I am also home. As in, my new house :). Okay, so it's roughly 20 years old, but it is new to me and I am a new home-owner. The reality of the last part is still hard to grasp. God has blessed me so richly. I keep losing count of the many ways He has blessed me, though, I will always continue to try and keep up. I am officially hired on as a dental assistant on base here so I will soon have an income to justify filling our new home and disappearing on weekends to go to auditions.
Speaking of auditions, I should share with you my plans for accomplishing my dreams. Or, shall I say, put forth my darndest of efforts toward tackling the acting world full on. We're at 4th and goal people and I'm about to bring it home. -See what I did there with the wording... home? I can be so clever sometimes. ;)
Anyway, my plans:
1. (Numbering them makes them more official I think.) Kick my butt in the health and fitness department. Basically just get back into my old routine so I can maintain the same healthy physique and therefor be more consistent for auditions and resume purposes. As well as more enticing for agents. Healthy is #1 priority. I don't necessarily want to model, but I will not turn down the opportunity because it could be an awesome gateway to acting. However, because I am so short, fit modeling and print are pretty much my only options in that department.
2. Once that post-workout glow has returned full-stream. (I would say 2 or so weeks.) Schedule a photo shoot to boost the resume.
3. Create a rock-awesome resume to get noticed in a good way by agents and talent directors!
4. Go to open calls for talent agencies. I am going to start with the one I have wanted to join for a really long time. It is a friend of the family's business but I don't think it would be smart to put their name on here, just in case.
5. Once I've gotten accepted to an agency, I will accept every opportunity they give me-assuming its appropriate for me. If they are looking for an amazonian-type woman, I don't think I qualify for that, so I don't think I'll show up for that one lol.

So that's that. It is all here typed out and staring at me. This is the scary part. This is where I have to give everything and just pray that I have everything to give. That I am enough. *shudder*. This is where I have to combat the fear of success. The daunting "what ifs" and the internal  heckler that so loves to put me down. Doesn't she know  how badly I want this? Doesn't she know the talent that I was born with? Doesn't she know she is wrong and mean? She does. I guarantee it. But she is me and that means this leap of faith is just that. A leap. A scary, hesitant, wanting, insecure, unsafe and unrealistic at best jump toward a dream no one has told me I am capable of. No one except the giver of the dreams I possess in my heart. The dream that hasn't changed no matter how unrecognisably I have. It should be interesting. It might be hard. It WILL be worth it. I just know it.

*Gulp*
Here goes everything.